Post by Homura on Oct 26, 2014 22:34:54 GMT
Monday, August 17th, 11:31 AM.
Bedroom.
It was a normal afternoon. I was still in school, waiting for time to pass by, when the people sitting next to me were having a conversation that caught my interest. They were talking about Smash Bros. I loved Smash Bros, it was one of my top favorite games ever. Since Melee, Falco has been my main character. Every line he said was inspirational to my ears, and every attack he made was pure beauty to my eyes. Falco was the greatest, and that will never change for me.
I went home that day to play the new Smash Bros game I had pre-ordered. I couldn’t wait to play another iteration of this wonderful franchise featuring my favorite character. Well, hours passed by, with character unlocks flying past me, and I was still waiting for my one and only Falco. The other birds (DeDeDe, Captain Falcon, Pit) kept me occupied, but they were nothing compared to Falco.
7:00PM was creeping by, and the game was silent. No more “New Challengers,” no “New Stages,” and worst of all, no Falco. I was beginning to panic, and with all of my fears starting to encompass me, I decided to run over to my computer and search for my dear Falco. “Where is Falco?” I asked, as I feared for the worst. “How do I unlock Falco in the new Super Smash Bros game?” These questions plagued my mind like the Jews, and I had to find out.
It is now 3:00AM, and I am still searching for Falco. I have already searched multiple sources, turning up nothing, and I’m beginning to get desperate. As I later entered that same class with those people that were talking about Smash Bros, I decided to mustard up the courage to ask them the sacred question. “How do I get Falco in the new game?” Each and every one of them looked at me as if I had seven dongs, until one of them finally yelled out “Falco? Do you mean Captain Falco?” I was scared at this point, not only because these degenerates had no idea who Falco was, but also because they looked like barbarians. I had never noticed it before, but they looked like they just crawled out of a cave after having it crumble on top of them. “No,” I said, “Falco Lambardi, the one introduced in---,” I was cut off by a loud screech, and then they all started screeching, and then I ran away.
It was 5:00PM now, four days after this story began. After having failed twice now, I was beginning to get desperate. With very little people left to turn to, I went to my best friend to see if he knew where Falco went. I sent him a simple message, asking “Where’s Falco.” He replied back saying “Excuse me??” as if I had horribly offended him. I began to describe Falco to him, telling him all about my hero. However, his reply was less than favorable. “What are you talking about? That’s nothing like Falco. You’re talking about Peppy, and even then you’re not even talking about Peppy right, it sounds like you just pulled him out of a Junji Ito story, it just barely resembles Peppy.” This made me worried. Was everything up until this moment a lie to me? Was there really no Falco? And who is Juno iPhone? This was all very overwhelming to me, so I’m doing what must be done. If anyone finds this, please feed Falco his favorite foods, and make sure to bring Falc0 out to go to the bathroom. And don’t forget about Faelco, he needs exercise too. Those dogs were nothing compared to the real Falco, but they were ok. Also make sure to wrap the rope up and put it away when I’m done.
Bedroom.
It was a normal afternoon. I was still in school, waiting for time to pass by, when the people sitting next to me were having a conversation that caught my interest. They were talking about Smash Bros. I loved Smash Bros, it was one of my top favorite games ever. Since Melee, Falco has been my main character. Every line he said was inspirational to my ears, and every attack he made was pure beauty to my eyes. Falco was the greatest, and that will never change for me.
I went home that day to play the new Smash Bros game I had pre-ordered. I couldn’t wait to play another iteration of this wonderful franchise featuring my favorite character. Well, hours passed by, with character unlocks flying past me, and I was still waiting for my one and only Falco. The other birds (DeDeDe, Captain Falcon, Pit) kept me occupied, but they were nothing compared to Falco.
7:00PM was creeping by, and the game was silent. No more “New Challengers,” no “New Stages,” and worst of all, no Falco. I was beginning to panic, and with all of my fears starting to encompass me, I decided to run over to my computer and search for my dear Falco. “Where is Falco?” I asked, as I feared for the worst. “How do I unlock Falco in the new Super Smash Bros game?” These questions plagued my mind like the Jews, and I had to find out.
It is now 3:00AM, and I am still searching for Falco. I have already searched multiple sources, turning up nothing, and I’m beginning to get desperate. As I later entered that same class with those people that were talking about Smash Bros, I decided to mustard up the courage to ask them the sacred question. “How do I get Falco in the new game?” Each and every one of them looked at me as if I had seven dongs, until one of them finally yelled out “Falco? Do you mean Captain Falco?” I was scared at this point, not only because these degenerates had no idea who Falco was, but also because they looked like barbarians. I had never noticed it before, but they looked like they just crawled out of a cave after having it crumble on top of them. “No,” I said, “Falco Lambardi, the one introduced in---,” I was cut off by a loud screech, and then they all started screeching, and then I ran away.
It was 5:00PM now, four days after this story began. After having failed twice now, I was beginning to get desperate. With very little people left to turn to, I went to my best friend to see if he knew where Falco went. I sent him a simple message, asking “Where’s Falco.” He replied back saying “Excuse me??” as if I had horribly offended him. I began to describe Falco to him, telling him all about my hero. However, his reply was less than favorable. “What are you talking about? That’s nothing like Falco. You’re talking about Peppy, and even then you’re not even talking about Peppy right, it sounds like you just pulled him out of a Junji Ito story, it just barely resembles Peppy.” This made me worried. Was everything up until this moment a lie to me? Was there really no Falco? And who is Juno iPhone? This was all very overwhelming to me, so I’m doing what must be done. If anyone finds this, please feed Falco his favorite foods, and make sure to bring Falc0 out to go to the bathroom. And don’t forget about Faelco, he needs exercise too. Those dogs were nothing compared to the real Falco, but they were ok. Also make sure to wrap the rope up and put it away when I’m done.
